Part of what makes Christmas music so irritating is also what makes it appealing. It’s the white toast of music: comforting, readily available, and easy to make, but mostly bland. Still, even though the market is saturated, each year sees loads of new Christmas albums, because the payoff for a popular holiday song can be huge. By 2013, Mariah Carey had reportedly earned $50 million in royalties for her 1994 track “All I Want For Christmas is You,” and each year brings yet another occasion for us to listen to it — and make money for her — all over again. Thing is, when the realization hits that you’ve heard “All I Want For Christmas is You” 37 times in one day just by existing in public, the thought of listening to more Christmas music might make you twitch. But by ignoring the genre entirely, you miss dozens of albums every year, and the chance to throne a new classic.
So I went on the hunt to find options for anyone who still wants holiday cheer, but is sick of listening to Nat King Cole yammer on about chestnuts. And I stuck to the new stuff, which means it was a delightful, chintzy slog through more “Jingle Bells” remixes than one person should have to endure. Here are seven Christmas albums that came out in 2016 — some good, some bad, but all pretty darn merry.
Kacey Musgraves, A Very Kacey Christmas
The Christmas album is a rite of passage for any pop star. Now that Musgraves has two fairly popular LPs in the bag, industry etiquette dictates it’s time for her to get that rite out of the way. I came into this album optimistic — Musgraves has previously managed to make contemporary country both friendly and wry — but Christmas music has an unfortunate way of smoothing over quirks with cheer, and that’s what happens on A Very Kacey Christmas. The songs that are listenable, like the wistful “Christmas Makes Me Cry,” don’t sound like Christmas songs. The ones that sound festive, like the plucky “A Willie Nice Christmas” (Willie as in Nelson), have lyrics like, “I hope you have a really, really, really, Willie nice Christmas.” Do with that what you will; I’m putting it in the garbage.
Highlight: “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” Ah, the question on everybody’s lips come December 26th. This track is classic Kacey Musgraves relatable-ness. It’s also a drunk-and-alone country song, which is a nice antidote to this season’s general air of gluttony.