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Perhaps it’s just me, but I thought that Comcast had visited a reputable psychologist, confessed to its worst tendencies and taken steps to do something about them.
The low point had surely been the famous, infamously entertaining 2014 recording of a Comcast retention agent doing everything possible, everything humongously irritating, to persuade a customer to stay.
Also: A customer experience story: After a year of Comcast, my verdict
Subsequently, the company admitted that the rep had done exactly what he’d been trained to do.
That year, Comcast again won the title of Worst Company in America.
Soon, though, the company was taking steps to make life (slightly) easier for customers. Why, I remember a very pleasant-sounding Comcast technician texting me to explain how to reset something in my system.
Yet recently, Comcast did something it’s done too many times before. It raised the price of my bill by $30 a month and didn’t even have the courtesy of telling me. The first I noticed was when I saw my credit card bill.
Also: Comcast security flaws exposed customers’ personal info CNET
Surely, though, the new, improved Comcast would set things right.
Surely rabbits enjoy clothes shopping at the Gap.
Getting better?
ZDNet
The Answer Is No. What’s the Question Again?
I called Comcast customer service and was greeted by a gentleman — let’s call him Bert — who wondered what my problem was.
I explained that my bill had suddenly gone up.
He looked at my account and declared: “Well, your special promotional rate has ended.”
It has? I wasn’t aware there was anything special about my service, other than that Comcast insisted I have a landline I never use and don’t even know the number of.
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“Sir, why didn’t Comcast tell me that you were increasing my bill?” I asked, naively.
“You could have checked online,” Bert replied, as if customer communication wasn’t really Comcast’s thing.
I could, indeed, have checked online. Instead, here I was hoping for some customer service.
I confess that, unlike many, I’d sometimes received a little understanding service in my past. The friendlier, more decent Comcast customer service agents might occasionally say: “Oh, you’re paying far too much. Let me see how we can get your bill down.”
But Bert was not for turning.
“Isn’t there a better price you can offer me? After all you’ve taken away one of my favorite channels, BeIN,” I said. “So now I’m paying more for less.”
“What channel is that?” he replied, apparently never having heard of it.
Bert explained again that my promotional deal was up, so I had to pay up.
“But aren’t you worried about cord-cutters who are moving away from cable?”
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Bert seemed merely to repeat his script. It consisted of no, no and no. What could I do?
“I think it’s best if you put me on to a retention agent,” I said.
“He’ll tell you the same as me,” Bert replied, with fulsome confidence.
What remains of my intelligence was now being insulted.
I insisted. Bert demurred. I insisted strongly. Bert finally gave in.
Retaining My Sanity.
The retention agent — let’s call him Ed — didn’t say the same as Bert.
I’m not even sure he used a single phrase uttered by Bert. No suddenly became yes.
He took one look at my account and said: “You still have the old boxes. You don’t have Xfinity. And your modem’s old, too.”
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